his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
