Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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