My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize