I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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