I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Will exercising make me less horny?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
