Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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