So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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