I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
