Me. At least after what I've been through.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
