okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
