the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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