Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
