He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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