He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
