Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
3pm strippers are depressing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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