i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
