It's Friday. Sex?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
