"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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