A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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