I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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