At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
