I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
