and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
