you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
