Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
