with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
