pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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