I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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