ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
