Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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