I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
