My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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