Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
