The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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