Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
