so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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