Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
