Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
