The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
