when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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