my mouth tastes like poor choices
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
