I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
