Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
