brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize