I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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