i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
