she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
