I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm having to shit out rocks
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
