So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
