You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
