So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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