how can u be prego again
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
